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04 October 2008 @ 10:40 pm
i feel like shit  

Some people are so goddamned insensitive.
Nakakapikon na talaga, I swear. If you’ve got something to say about someone, if you’ve got some nasty remark about who I am or who I’m affiliated with, just keep it to yourself. It’s really disheartening to hear your friends practically insult you to your face. What makes it worse is when they say it so nonchalantly, as if it were just something to take lightly. And the worst part is, they don’t even care. They don’t even realize the gravity of the words they say, how much it pierces to the bone, how it makes all the skeletons I’ve been trying so hard for so many years to bury, resurface.

 Some people are so goddamned hypocritical.
Before you say something about me- or anyone, for that matter, why don’t you take a long close look at your reflection in the mirror, long enough to see not only the external, but your very soul. It could be heartless, I don’t know. From what I’ve been witnessing, nothing seems to beat in between your ribs. Ikaw, higit pa sa lahat, ay ang pinaka- –Fuck it. I can’t even find the Tagalog word for it. If there were, it would mean so much more.

 Some people are so goddamned tactless.
It wouldn’t hurt you, it won’t cost you an arm and a leg to say things in stride. I’m not suggesting you sugarcoat things. By all means, be as frank as you wish – I hate people who sugarcoat things. But there is always a way to say things. Not in passing, not meaning to be overheard or parinig. Say it to my face, but in such a way that dignifies myself as a human being. Kasi ikaw, tao. Ang tao, inirerespeto. Hindi dapat binabastos. Tao rin ako, kailangan ko rin ng respeto. Hindi mo lang ako puwedeng iabuso ng ganyanan lang.

 And yet, some people can be really perceptive. To those who know, to those who have experienced exactly what I’ve experienced; to those who know what it’s like to be compared, to be put down, to be made felt as if she were lesser of a person, I salute you.

 To everyone else, I think I’ve said enough, but still not as much as you have.

 You know it’s bad when I start writing in Filipino.